Shipwrecked

["Ben J Catlin" <87820@ef.ev.maricopa.edu>]

>> > > Shipwrecked Engineer
>
> A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the
>Caribbean.  It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life.  Just
>as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge
ship,
>capsizing it like a child's toy.  Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging
>on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island.
>
> > >
>Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas, and coconuts,
there
>was little else.  He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under the same
>palm tree.  One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a
>small rowboat appeared.
> > >
>"I'm from the other side of the island," she said.  "Were you on the cruise
>ship too?"
> > >
>"Yes, I was," he answered.  "But where did you get that rowboat?"
> > >
>"Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced
gunnel
>from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree."
> > >
>"But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
> > >
>"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side
>of the island.  I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in
>my kiln, it melted into ductile iron.  Anyhow, that's how I got the tools.
>But, enough of this," she said. "Where have you been living all this time?
I
>don't see any shelter."
> > >
>"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
> > >
>"Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked.
> > >
>The engineer nodded dumbly.  She expertly rowed them around to her side of
the
>island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp
topped
>with a neat back splice.  They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid
up
>to and around a Palm tree.  There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in
blue
>and white.
> > >
>"It's not much, but I call it home."  Inside, she said, "Sit down please;
>would you like to have a drink?"
> > >
>"No, thanks," said the man.  "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!"
> > >
>"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied.  "I have a crude still out
>back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas."
> > >
>Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down
>on her couch to talk.  After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked,
>"Tell me, have you always had a beard?"
> > >
>"No," the man replied, " I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up
>on this island."
> > >
>"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom
>cabinet."
> > >
>The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and
>shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor-sharp.  Next he
>showered--not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to
get
>warm water into the bathroom--and went back downstairs.  He couldn't help
but
>admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.
> > >
>"You look great," said the woman.  "I think I'll go up and slip into
>something more comfortable."  As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina
> Colada.  After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias,
>returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.
> > >
>"Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time with
no
>companionship.  You know what I mean.  Haven't you been lonely too?  Isn't
>there something that you really, really miss?  Something that all men and
>women need?  Something that would be really nice to have right now?!"
> > >
>"Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is
>something I've wanted to do for so long.  But on this island all alone,  it
>was just . . . well, it was impossible."
> > >
>"Well, it's not impossible anymore," the woman said.
> > >
>"The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly,  "You
>mean---you actually figured out some way we can check our e-mail?!!" >>
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