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Joke: March 13 - Saddam takes on the Spammers
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TODAY's JOKE
March 13. 1998
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SADDAM TAKES ON SPAMMER
- Submitted by Boneswish
------------------------------------
BAGHDAD, IRAQ (Joke-Of-The-Day Wire) - March 13, 1998 -
Saddam Hussein today announced his pledge to fight terrorism,
starting with "the fool who crashed my 286 with junk e-mail spam".
The iron fisted leader went on to state that it took nearly five
years to scavenge the countryside for straycomputer parts
"just to get on the net." After months of receiving busy signals
from America Online, Saddam was finally able to negotiate
(handshake) with the AOL server. He then went to download his e-mail,
expecting to receive the customary AOL welcome e-mail message. But
much to his dismay he was hit hard by Sanford Wallace's spam puking
Cyber-Bomber Program.
The attack consisted of endless copies of the exact same junk e-mails
such as "Get Rich Quick", "Internet Porno Site Adverts", etc., etc..
The attack was so hard & heavy that Saddam's 120 MB hard drive simply
crashed within a matter of minutes. Saddam stated that Mr. Wallace has
got himself in the same predicament as Salman Rushdie, and will have
nowhere to hide.
Reaction amongst netizens was generally positive, and in total
agreement with Saddam's decree.
Sources at the Pentagon stated that Mr. Wallace will most likely be
placed in the Wit-less Protection Program (funded by a new tax on all
e-mails).
Furthermore, Pentagon Officials were so impressed with the
capabilities of the Cyber-Bomber Program, that this highly effective
technology will now become property of the Department of Defense.
The Pentagon is now negotiating with AOL to give a special free service
- which actually connects easily - to Fidel Castro, Col. Qadaffi and
a few others which can not be publicly named.
The White House has also gotten in on the action and has
negotaited free service for all the members of Kenneth Starr's
special prosecution team and has set up a special program to give
them FREE membership to all of the adult services, and has set up a
secret tracking system to monitor them (just for insurance purposes)
No further details were given in regards to further research and
development of junk e-mail spamming as a weapon of mass irritation.
Mr. Spamford Wallace was unavailable for comment.
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