[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
Joke: February 23 - How to screw up an interview!
_ _ __
(_) ___ | | _____ ___ / _|
| |/ _ \| |/ / _ \ / _ \| |_
| | (_) | < __/ | (_) | _|
_/ |\___/|_|\_\___| \___/|_|
|__/
_ _ _
| |_| |__ ___ __| | __ _ _ _
| __| '_ \ / _ \ / _` |/ _` | | | |
| |_| | | | __/ | (_| | (_| | |_| |
\__|_| |_|\___| \__,_|\__,_|\__, |
|___/sm
http://www.joke-of-the-day.com
"The World's Largest Daily Joke List"
#########################################################
# To get a Great Joke everyday, send a blank e-mail to: #
# #
# Join@joke-of-the-day.com #
# mailto:JOIN@joke-of-the-day.com #
# #
# or go here #
# http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/html/subscribe.html #
# #
# FREE FREE FREE FREE #
# #
#########################################################
==================================================================
To ADVERTISE, reaching more than 4,000,000 people per month
E-mail us at: SPONSOR@joke-of-the-day.com
==================================================================
TODAY's JOKE
February 23, 1998
====================
RESULTS:
The weekend's joke "A Man's Guide to Choosing an outfit" was a big hit
A 5.9 from Joke-of-the-day.com members
/------------------------------------------------------------------\
THIS WEEK'S RESOLUTION: GET YOUR TAXES DONE
********************************************************
Try TURBO TAX Free for 30 Days - from the maker of QUICKEN
.
Plus get a FREE GIFT just for trying TurboTax!
TRY IT OUT at: http://turbotax.vitabella.com/?1141
\------------------------------------------------------------------/
Rate the Joke below! and *** FORWARD TO FRIENDS ***
Spread The Fun
HOW TO SCREW UP AN INTERVIEW
- Submitted by Ken Smith
---------------------------------
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those
interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't
fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew
we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years
beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American
corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.
The lowlights:
1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."
2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music
at the same time."
3. " A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office
a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel
executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger
and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup
on hr sleeve"
6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by
having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."
7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific
interview questions."
8. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap
dancing around my office."
9 . "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went
through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."
10. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me.
Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."
11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."
12. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out
a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping
longest at the centerfold."
13. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's
brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had
to leave for another interview."
14. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his
wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company?
When do I start? What's the salary?"
I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any
urther." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more.
"I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job
offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."
15. "His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents
spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup
and perfume."
16. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the
unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."
17. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my
desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and
wanted my phone number. I called security."
18. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that
if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began
to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call
the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and
ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."
PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR. Thanks
/------------------------------------------------------------------\
T A X E S M A D E E A S Y
*********************************
Try TURBO TAX Free for 30 Days - from the maker of QUICKEN
MAKE your 1997 Taxes the easiest ever with Turbo Tax. Try the
world's best selling tax preparation software FREE for 30 days.
Save Time. Save Money. From Intuit - the QUICKEN people.
And let TurboTax zip you through this year's return.
Plus get a FREE GIFT just for trying TurboTax!
TRY IT OUT at: http://turbotax.vitabella.com/?1141
\------------------------------------------------------------------/
--------------
RATE THE JOKE: From 1 - 7 (1 = Lousy, 7 = Hilarious)
--------------
If you received this e-mail directly from
Joke-of-the-day then just hit "REPLY" and type your
rating (1 - 7) in the message and send it to us.
IF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN FORWARDED to you, then send
e-mail to jokes@joke-of-the-day.com with rating
in body of the message. Results will be posted tomorrow
You will also be automatically subscribed to the list
-------------
SUBSCRIBE join@joke-of-the-day.com 100% FREE
------------- or better yet, subscribe through our website
and tell us what kind of jokes you like
http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/html/subscribe.html
-------------
NOTICE You will never receive this e-mail unsolicited from
------------- JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com. We are a subscription service only.
If you have received this and have not subscribed, then
someone had either forwarded you the message or has
subscribed you.
-------------
UNSUBSCRIBE Unsubscribe-JOKE_OF_THE_DAY@gs1.revnet.com
------------- Must be sent from your original e-mail system.
-------------
QUESTIONS Info@joke-of-the-day.com
-------------
-------------
SUBMIT A JOKE SubmitJoke@joke-of-the-day.com
------------- We will list your name, unless otherwise instructed
We do not accept copyrighted material. All
Jokes are either written by us
or are believed to be in the public domain. Thank You.
Joke-Of-The-Day is powered by GroupMaster from Revnet
Easy email list management - http://www.groupmaster.com/joke.html
Copyright 1997/1998 JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com / TWT. All Rights reserved
Permission is granted to reprint or distribute Joke-of-the-Day's
Jokes as long as this full copyright notice is included
including the subscription information
To get a joke everyday, E-mail us at Subscribe@joke-of-the-day.com