Joke: REALLY FUNNY SIGNS

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

                 REALLY FUNNY SIGNS
               -------------------------

Here are a list of signs that really bring a laugh inside.

Sign on an electrician's truck:  Let us remove your shorts.
                
Maternity Clothes Shop:          We are open on labor day.
                
Non-smoking area:  If we see you smoking we will
assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
                
On a Maternity Room Door:       "Push, Push, Push"
                
On a Front Door:  Everyone on the premises is a
vegetarian except the dog.
                
Optometrist's Office:  If you don't see what you're
looking for, you've come to the right place.
                
Scientist's Door:     Gone Fission
                
Taxidermist Window:   We really know our stuff.
                
Podiatrist's Window:  Time wounds all heels.
                
Butcher's window:     Let me meat your needs.
                
Used Car Lot:         Second Hand cars in first crash condition

Sign on Fence:        Salesmen welcome.  Dog food is expensive."
                
Car Dealership:       The best way to get back on your
                      feet - miss a car payment.
                 
Muffler Shop:         No appointment necessary.  We'll hear you coming.

Hotel:  "Help!"       We need inn - experienced people.
                
Butcher's Window:     Pleased to meat you.
                
Auto Body Shop:       May we have the next dents?
                
Sign in an office:    We shoot every 3rd salesman, and
                      the 2nd one just left.
                
Veterinarians:        Be back in 5 minutes.  Sit!  Stay!
Waiting Room
                
The Electric Company:  We would be delighted if you send in your
                       bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
                
Beauty Shop:           Dye now!
                
Garbage Truck:         We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
                
Computer Store:        Out for a quick byte
                
Diner Window:          Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
                
Bowling Alley:         Please be quiet.  We need to hear a pin drop.
                
Cafeteria:             Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.  
                       Socks can eat any place they want.
                
Music Library:         Bach in a minuet.
                
Funeral Home:          Drive carefully, we'll wait.