Great jokes

[Bthelin@mail.sisna.com]

~~~  The Techno Terms Dictionary  ~~~
486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become 
obsolete.
G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the 
computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want to buy a 
computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp.  after a 
Syntax Error.
GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
(pronounced "gooey")
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on 
vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

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One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He 
noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another 20 ft but the guy joined him a few minutes later. 
 The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and 
wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, 
"I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"
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