Humor: Late-Breaking News Story

[jondd@juno.com (Jon D Dayley)]

>>AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH
>>
>>Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced
>>as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert,
>>outside of Ares Vallis on Friday.  Appearing at a press conference
>>today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that "the object was, in
>>fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien
>>spacecraft".
>>
>>The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby
>>Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily
>>Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which
>>allegedly came down in the nearby desert, "bouncing" several times
>>before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden explosion of alien
>>gases".  Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the
>>Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.
>>
>>General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a
>>detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were blatant
>>fiction, provoked by incidents involving swamp gas.  But the
>>general public has been slow to accept the Air Force's explanation
>>of recent events, preferring to speculate on the "other-worldly"
>>nature of the crash debris.  Conspiracy theorists have condemned
>>Rgrmrmy's statements as evidence of "an obvious government
>>cover-up", pointing out that Mars has no swamps.
>>
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